No matter the reason, delaying your Big Day is not a lot of fun. But you can get through this, because … It’s OK to Grieve Your Postponed Wedding.
Planning a wedding is a big emotional investment & the more time you’ve already put in, the sadder you’ll probably feel to have to put everything on hold.
The good news is that you can navigate the storm by letting yourself feel things. Acknowledging feelings is healthy. Eventually, you will move past the disappointment & sadness & come out on the other end stronger as a couple.
We’ve collected tips from different counselors & therapists. Here’s their best advice, both for how to handle feeling bad and how to cheer each other up while you wait for things to fall into place again—and they will. It’ll just take some time.
It’s OK to Grieve your Postponed Wedding: Your Personal Feelings & What to Do About Them
Source: Recovery Resources
All feelings are 100% valid
- Sadness, disappointment, frustration, even anger—all of those emotions are valid.
- Your wedding is a big deal that you’ve been looking forward to.
- If you “don’t feel anything”—you might want to take a deeper look & get a little counseling to help open up.
Facing feelings head-on is better in the long run
- Your feelings won’t just magically go away.
- Holding feelings in is not a good idea—they’ll just come out some other way like depression or irritability.
- Think of these emotions like a heavy backpack—if you don’t open it to see what’s inside, it’s going to keep dragging you down.
- If you acknowledge the emotions & name them, you can work through them.
The Good News: The old saying is true—“This too shall pass” (eventually).
It’s OK to Grieve your Postponed Wedding: Give yourself permission to feel sad about your wedding and feel sad about the other things going on
- Do not feel guilty for feeling upset about your wedding—you’re not being selfish.
- Everybody has their own things going on—if your wedding is your #1 concern, that’s OK.
- Do let other people feel & talk about their worries & concerns.
- Do be careful about who you want to share your feelings with.
Feeling helpless is also perfectly OK
- Your hands may truly be tied for either a shorter or longer time, depending.
- If you’re able, try to focus on things you can control right now—and the most important thing is your relationship with your partner.
It’s OK to Grieve your Postponed Wedding: Your Relationship with Your Partner
Keep sharing with your partner
- Even if you’re careful about what you tell other people—do share your feelings with your partner.
- Make a point to actively listen to each other—again, don’t hold things in.
- Know that you each may react differently—you may be most worried about one thing while your partner may struggle with another aspect of the situation.
- Do lean on your partner—that’s what marriage is all about, right?
- Do let your partner lean on you—you can even “take turns” with who’s feeling stronger & who needs to cry or express emotion.
- Recognize you might have very different coping mechanisms—you might need to talk-talk-talk while your partner needs to be quiet or silent & sort things out internally.
- Choose specific times of the day to talk about your wedding feelings.
- Choose other specific times to do other things together.
Use this time to grow closer
- You will still have a wedding somewhere down the line.
- You do not have to be married already to get to know each other better.
- You do still have each other—that’s why you decided to get married in the first place, right?
- It is true—tough times can bring couples closer and make them stronger.
- How you two deal with the wedding interruption—this is a good marker for how you’ll weather other stormy times.
- Take this time to learn to work as a team—don’t let this mess tear you apart.
Tip: Think of this as “advance practice” for those marriage vows “for better or for worse.”
It’s OK to Grieve your Postponed Wedding: Do Things Together
Source: We Heart It
Take a break from wedding planning if you need it
- If it helps to keep planning things you can control now—that’s fine.
- If continued wedding planning stresses you out—then put everything away for a while.
Find ways to pamper yourselves indoors & outside
- Go for a stroll
- Turn off the news
- Listen to music
- Treat each other to a massage
- Learn how to cook together
Do fun, silly or just plain goofy things together
- Have an exercise competition.
- Follow Sophie Dossi’s lead & try to break weird Guinness world records.
- Make goofy videos to share with friends.
- Create a virtual karaoke or music video like celebrities & musicians are doing on YouTube.
If you can, find ways to help other people
- Stay in touch on the phone or Facetime
- See if your neighbors need any help that you can do safely—picking up groceries, light yard work to keep things tidy, even just waving & shouting hello when you’re on your walks together.
It’s OK to Grieve your Postponed Wedding: Consider Celebrating Your Love in Different Ways
Find ways to make your original wedding date special
- Write love notes to each other & hide them.
- Slow dance in your living room or kitchen.
- Have a candlelight dinner—even if it’s takeout pizza or Chinese.
If you’re separated from each other:
- Call each other often
- Write real live letters & send them in the mail
- Have fun, inexpensive gifts delivered
Have virtual dates
- Learn a dance together—but separately–by watching & following the same video.
- Cook the same recipe in your individual kitchens.
It’s OK to Grieve your Postponed Wedding: If You Want to Get Married Now, Do It!
Source: Daughters of Africa
- If you can travel to a safe place—get married online or at the courthouse & elope
- Have a beautiful virtual wedding—either just the two of you & an online officiant or a Zoom wedding with “guests” online
“Have Your Cake & Eat It, Too”
- You can always have your dream wedding down the road with a vow renewal & that gorgeous reception you’ve been planning!
For tips on how to Tie the Knot Now, Click HERE or on the image below for our Virtually Plan & Livestream Your Wedding How-to Guide:
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